Faith receives, it does not earn.
All our lives we are taught to strive, sometimes that’s for the next best thing, job title, experiences, relationship, or connection. We learn to do our best, never fail, fit the mold & then maybe we will become” enough”.(Who’s defining that word anyway?) Deep in our hearts we know these things will never satisfy, but with no other way of thinking embedded in our minds, we begin to feel directionless. We then turn around & take those overwhelming expectations into the presence of God, hoping we will somehow be enough.
Without realizing it, I’ve been living my whole life under these burdensome expectations. I was constantly striving to be seen by the Lord, hoping one day my efforts would be good enough to catch the Fathers attention. The Spirit felt far from me & shame felt like it was holing my hand with an iron grip.This ultimately led to walls of separations from the Father that Satan had craftily been hiding. Instead of walking in peace & intimacy, I found myself turning from vulnerability at all costs, & running to my comfortable shelter of self-efforts. I deeply wanted to experience the love I had heard about, but the Father seemed so far, & so disengaged. I felt like I was walking into His presence with a massively stained sweater on. This sweater clearly spelled out everything wrong & sinful about me, & surely that’s all He saw. I didn’t really realize this is how I saw myself until I was praying & Holy Spirit told me I had been carrying a spirit of abandonment. I was taken by surprise for a moment, seeing as I had worked through so much of that already. I asked Holy Spirit to unpack that & tell me more. He began to show me that I had no expectation in the Fathers love. I had taken the hurt & abandonment from others & placed that right onto the Father. Theses lies made His love feel super uncomfy, like He would turn away from me at any moment. I began to realize that I didn’t see Him through the lease of a daughter, but instead an orphan, being tossed around from one broken home to the next. His love wasn’t restful or kind in my mind, instead He was surely hoping I would be more, harshly waiting for every wrong move.
This month however, the Father has begun to show me our beautiful love story. He has been showing me that He doesn’t see that old stained sweater when I come to be with Him, but instead He sees a covering of righteousness, & a blanket of grace. Though I often allow myself to believe the lies Satan plants in my head, those lies don’t change or persuade the Fathers kind & loving character. They also can never change the perfect love the Father sees when he looks at me through the lease of Jesus’ perfect sacrifice. Thanks God for never changing! His love is not dependent on who I am, but it does create a space for Him to delight in who He created me to be. As I began to process all of this with the Lord, He told me to write down what He was telling me about His love. So below is all the He revealed to be about His great love, straight from my journal!
Your love if fearless & bold, yet gentle & kind. It casts fear out, while drawing me close. Your love chooses me before I even notice the steps I’ve taken away from your presence. Your love covers me in a blanket of righteousness, calling me whole & seen. It has never abandoned me, and never will. Instead your love builds me up in great strength. Your love throws fear far from my path. It doesn’t rely on my goodness, but goodness is birthed from your love. Your love flows through me like an endless river of life-giving water, it simply meets me & comfort my soul. Your love overflows & cannot be contained. It abides in those who seek you, giving us access to your righteousness, only waiting for us to accept. Your love turned death to life, & stone to flesh. It brings freedom & authority that we can boldly carry to the nations. It calls me to abide in your kindness & rest at your feet. Your love is soft & gentle in one moment, but in the next it is loudly lavishing over me. Your love came first, patiently waiting for me to receive. Your love is true & honest, never shying away, even when I’m at my lowest. Your love has created a new covenant that changed my title from shame, to bride. Your love doesn’t simply overlook my flaws & mistakes, but cast them out of sight, removing them from my identity. Your love is perfect & is slowly perfecting me.
Because of these amazing truths, I get to run into the Fathers arms without reserve, or care, simply taking hold of all He is. I no longer have to identify myself in shame, but as a daughter, I get to take ownership as a co-heir of Christ’s goodness. I just get to sit in His love, taking it all in, thanks God! He is a loving Father & deeply desires to be known by His children. I know this sounds like a simple concept, but its one that is so often overlooked. All my life I have heard of His great love, but I’ve never allowed it to go from my head to my heart.
His love is so kind & rich, so my encouragement to you this month is to press in & ask Him to reveal His love in a new way!
Love you lots,
Kendell
Thank You for sharing this. You paint a beautiful picture of how precious we are to the Father and you have blessed me so much this morning. A great reminder at just the right time.
Praying for you,
Carol
I am so happy for you Kendall, blessed by God to see His heart for you and to grow in his love.
Especially liked this sentence: It doesn’t rely on my goodness, but goodness is birthed from your love.
Wow!
How sweet that you are experiencing that love from God, what Satan tried so hard to keep from you! Our God, who created us, provides for us, died for us, and leads us into all truth, actually came to SERVE us! How crazy amazing is that! Matthew 20:28
“like the Son of Man, who did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life to redeem many people”