The deeper I get into this adventure with the Lord, the more His heart is reviled, & the more I’m in love.
I thought I knew… I thought I knew the depth of His love. I thought I knew His heart in an intimate way. I thought I knew what freedom, peace, & unending joy felt like. I thought my faith was deep & my heart was willing. I thought I knew what it meant to be sold out & invested.
That is until last week happened…
You see, I’ve grown up in the church. While I am incredibly grateful for that, I’m realizing that I have allowed that to put Jesus into a box. My box for Him looked a lot like the worlds idea of comfort & convince, with a little extra faith sprinkled in for good measure. This box looked like me fully understanding so I could answer any question that arose, but only when it “felt right” of course. This box looked like unity when I could make it work, & peace when everything was going (my idea of) right. This box looked like a whole lot of me.
This box is what the Holy Spirit spent the week breaking down. To my surprise it didn’t take a ton of striving or running. In fact, it didn’t take a whole lot of anything I had to offer. But instead it took me laying my expectations, ideas, & need to be enough at His feet. It took me stepping back & simply saying “yes” to everything He has to offer. It took me dying to my desires & allowing Him to rebuild them for His glory. It took laying down my need for it to all happen at once & just allowing healing to take place. It took an open heart, it took Jesus.
Once all of me was set aside, that’s when freedom came. When it was just Him filling my heart, mind, & desire, that’s when joy & peace took over. Thats when community, unity & vulnerability became real, tangible things. Thats when fear was gone & a sound mind was remaining.
Training camp wrecked my heart in the most beautiful way. It was as if all of these concepts we see in the Bible were being played out right before my eyes. In just a few short days I experienced the most humble & intentional leadership. A bond stronger then I can ever describe between all of my squamates. Spiritual discipline, connection, intimacy, & an absence of fear that only the Lord can provide. I experience people who carried love, weeping beside me in the moment I needed it. But in the next moment, all in, ready to rejoicing because freedom had been found!
I saw the Kingdom unfolding, & this is just the beginning!
Here is my beautiful squad:These people inspire me to look more like Jesus!
This is beautiful and a blessing. I pray that your journey from here on out grows even more in intimacy with Papa.
This is so beautifully written! I love this, I love training camp, I LOVE YOU. Can’t wait for you to continue to experience the Kingdom unfolding
I can’t wait to see the Fathers heart, it’s just going to get deeper & deeper! Thank you for pouring into us!
I probably could have stayed at training camp forever…
I love you so much already!!
I am so glad we get to watch it unfold together!!
what a poetic and profound description of your experience at training camp! It was a joy to see how you so quickly blossomed from a bud into a beautiful flower! I love this statement: “I saw the Kingdom unfolding, & this is just the beginning!” So true!